Reading for Others #
The Shift from Self to Other #
Reading for yourself and reading for others are different skills. When you read for yourself, you have full access to context, can sit with cards indefinitely, and need only satisfy yourself. Reading for another person introduces communication, responsibility, and the delicate art of serving someone’s growth while respecting their autonomy.
Before the Reading #
Setting Expectations #
Before cards are drawn, clarify:
- What kind of reading? General guidance, specific question, or exploration?
- How long? Set a timeframe so both parties know what to expect
- Your approach: Explain your philosophy (e.g., “I see tarot as a tool for reflection, not prediction”)
- Their role: Will they ask questions? Select cards? Participate in interpretation?
Creating Space #
- Physical space: Comfortable, private, free from interruption
- Emotional space: The querent should feel safe to be honest
- Energetic space: Some readers cleanse cards, light candles, or create ritual—do what helps you focus
Understanding the Question #
Help the querent formulate a useful question:
Less useful: “Will I find love?” (yes/no seeking prediction) More useful: “What do I need to understand about my approach to relationships?”
Open-ended questions that invite reflection yield richer readings than closed questions seeking fortune-telling.
During the Reading #
Describing What You See #
Start with observation: Describe the card’s imagery, what you notice, the feeling it evokes.
Then interpret: Move from observation to meaning, explaining your reasoning.
Invite dialogue: “Does this resonate?” “What comes up for you?”
Communication Skills #
Listen actively: The querent’s response tells you which threads to follow.
Ask questions: “What in your life does this connect to?”
Avoid jargon: Explain terms that might be unfamiliar.
Speak tentatively: “This might suggest…” rather than “This means…”
Be honest: If you’re unsure, say so. “I’m not sure what this card is pointing to yet.”
Balancing Honesty and Kindness #
You may see challenging things in a spread. How do you handle them?
Don’t sugarcoat: Kindness isn’t the same as avoiding truth.
Do contextualize: Challenges are opportunities for growth.
Do empower: What can the querent do with this information?
Don’t catastrophize: The Tower isn’t literal destruction; Death isn’t literal death.
Handling Difficult Topics #
If a reading touches on:
- Trauma or abuse: Be gentle; you’re not a therapist; suggest professional support if needed
- Strong emotions: Allow them space; have tissues available
- Topics outside your expertise: Know your limits
Areas to Approach With Care #
Topics to Avoid or Handle Carefully #
Third parties: Reading about people not present raises ethical questions. Focus on the querent’s experience rather than diagnosing others.
Timing predictions: “When will this happen?” is notoriously difficult; be honest about tarot’s limitations.
Major life decisions: The cards inform; the querent decides. Never tell someone what to do.
Dependency: If someone is coming to you for every decision, encourage their own discernment.
After the Reading #
Closing the Session #
- Summarize key points: What were the main messages?
- Offer takeaways: One or two things to focus on
- Answer questions: Invite final clarifications
- Ground the querent: Especially after intense readings—a moment of quiet, a glass of water
Confidentiality #
What happens in readings stays in readings. The trust someone places in you is sacred.
Your Own Processing #
After reading for others:
- Clear your energy: Some readers have rituals for this
- Notice what arose for you: Did the reading trigger anything personal?
- Let go: The querent’s journey is theirs, not yours to carry
Common Challenges #
“What does this card mean?” #
Some querents want you to just tell them. Balance providing insight with encouraging their participation. “What do you see here?” invites co-creation.
Resistant Querents #
Some people don’t really want insight—they want confirmation. If a reading contradicts their hopes, they may resist. Stay gentle but honest.
When You’re Stuck #
If a card’s meaning eludes you:
- Describe what you see literally
- Ask the querent what it brings up for them
- Draw a clarifying card
- Admit uncertainty—it’s honest and human
Emotional Overwhelm #
If a querent becomes very emotional:
- Pause the reading if needed
- Offer comfort but don’t over-manage their feelings
- Resume when ready, or complete another time
- Have referral resources for professional support
Developing Your Practice #
Practice Reading #
The only way to improve is practice:
- Read for willing friends and family
- Offer free readings in exchange for feedback
- Join communities where you can practice
- Read for yourself about reading for others
Getting Feedback #
Ask querents:
- What was helpful?
- What could have been clearer?
- Did the reading give you something useful?
Your Style #
Over time, you’ll develop your own reading style:
- How much do you talk vs. listen?
- How structured or intuitive?
- How much ritual do you use?
- What’s your focus—psychological, spiritual, practical?
Your authentic style emerges through practice.
Reading for others is a privilege and responsibility. You’re temporarily entrusted with someone’s inner life, questions, and hopes. Approach this honor with humility, skill, and care, and you’ll provide a genuine service.